Senator Barack Obama made headlines Tuesday for his speech on healing racial divides and addressing the comments made by his preacher. The Internet immediately lit up with swooning Democrats erupting into tears that he did no fail to mention to hope during his speech. Meanwhile, God had some concerns about the revelry. (more…)
Senator John McCain has added an NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament contest to his campaign web site. Visitors to the site can fill out their own bracket and compete against the Arizona senator to see who has the best picks. Prizes of McCain 2008 merchandise are being awarded. Unfortunately, this leaves God in a bit of a bind. (more…)
Senator Barack Obama is not the only one unhappy with his minister. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright has been under much scrutiny this past week for comments he has made in the past, including some laying the blame for 9/11 at the feet of the United States. Now, God is also hoping to distance Himself from the minister. (more…)
Senator Barack Obama may seem blessed by many, but he received another blessing earlier today. While appearing on a segment of The View, God admitted that even He had a bit of a “schoolgirl crush” on the Illinois Senator. Whoopi Goldberg proceeded to give the Lord a high-five. (more…)
The issue of age has become somewhat of a liability for Senator John McCain this election year. While his competitors have been somewhat mum on the issue, the media has continually questioned it. Is America really ready for the oldest man to ever become President? Meanwhile, one young person memorably asked McCain about his age and was responded to as “you little jerk.” (more…)
A press conference was called by God today in White Plains, New York. During the thirty second prepared speech, the Lord succinctly noted, “Yes, I am still serious about all Ten Commandments.” With that, He left the press conference. (more…)
Much stink has been made about the Senator Hillary Clinton ad asking voters who they want answering the phone at 3 a.m. during an emergency. Clinton backers argue the ad cuts to the heart of the issue of Senator Barack Obama’s lack of experience, while Obama supporters claim it is fear mongering at its worst. God, for one, is annoyed that people’s first instinct is to call someone and not to pray. (more…)
The Lord has been quite ever since He was put on the spot during a live web interview on AOL. During the live chat, one inquisitive information seeker asked the question that has been burning at theologians for centuries-how many friends does God have on MySpace? After some uncomfortable silence, God finally admitted that while He was unsure of the latest count, it was indeed less than Tom. (more…)
Residents of Madison, Wisconsin were shocked to see God take to their streets today. The purpose of this rare public appearance? “I’m just trying to remind everyone that while Senator Barack Obama might be hopeful, he’s not actually the Messiah,” God said. He went on to clarify that his son still holds that title. (more…)
Despite his departure from the Republican nomination race, God announced today that the world has not heard the last of Mike Huckabee. Speaking with CNN, God stated that the Arkansas governor and former Baptist minister may have lost this one, but he shall return. “Voters are quite fickle, and what’s the thing now won’t necessarily be four years from now,” God told a stunned Anderson Cooper. “I take care of my faithful, and this will not be the last we here of Mike Huckabee.” (more…)
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