John McCain’s presidential campaign, still bitter over The New York Times refusal of his editorial on Iraq, is now making new accusations of media bias. Last Friday’s Times featured a glowing review of the new Batman film, The Dark Knight, and McCain is apparently furious about it. McCain told reporters Wednesday, “Of course the media is going to like something about a ‘dark’ knight.”
On Monday Democrat Representative Dennis Kucinich introduced a bill to the House to impeach Osama Bin Laden. The bill, which currently features little support, calls for the terrorist leader to be impeached and thrown out as public enemy number one.
God appeared on Wednesday’s Oprah where He was asked some tough, hard hitting questions. Oprah wanted to know why He let bad things happen, who would win American Idol, and what’s the deal with Senator Hillary Clinton not conceding defeat? God said her stubbornness was reminiscent of a former friend of His.
“You know, Oprah, in many ways she reminds me of my old friend Lucifer. Much like Clinton, there was a time when all of us in Heaven loved Lucifer. Then he got a little too big for his britches, if you know what I mean.”
Senator Barack Obama made headlines Tuesday for his speech on healing racial divides and addressing the comments made by his preacher. The Internet immediately lit up with swooning Democrats erupting into tears that he did no fail to mention to hope during his speech. Meanwhile, God had some concerns about the revelry. (more…)
Senator John McCain has added an NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament contest to his campaign web site. Visitors to the site can fill out their own bracket and compete against the Arizona senator to see who has the best picks. Prizes of McCain 2008 merchandise are being awarded. Unfortunately, this leaves God in a bit of a bind. (more…)
Senator Barack Obama is not the only one unhappy with his minister. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright has been under much scrutiny this past week for comments he has made in the past, including some laying the blame for 9/11 at the feet of the United States. Now, God is also hoping to distance Himself from the minister. (more…)
Senator Barack Obama may seem blessed by many, but he received another blessing earlier today. While appearing on a segment of The View, God admitted that even He had a bit of a “schoolgirl crush” on the Illinois Senator. Whoopi Goldberg proceeded to give the Lord a high-five. (more…)
The issue of age has become somewhat of a liability for Senator John McCain this election year. While his competitors have been somewhat mum on the issue, the media has continually questioned it. Is America really ready for the oldest man to ever become President? Meanwhile, one young person memorably asked McCain about his age and was responded to as “you little jerk.” (more…)
A press conference was called by God today in White Plains, New York. During the thirty second prepared speech, the Lord succinctly noted, “Yes, I am still serious about all Ten Commandments.” With that, He left the press conference. (more…)
Much stink has been made about the Senator Hillary Clinton ad asking voters who they want answering the phone at 3 a.m. during an emergency. Clinton backers argue the ad cuts to the heart of the issue of Senator Barack Obama’s lack of experience, while Obama supporters claim it is fear mongering at its worst. God, for one, is annoyed that people’s first instinct is to call someone and not to pray. (more…)
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